You have a financial plan, a business plan, a career plan, a fitness plan, a Trust, a Will, but you don't have a plan for the area you interact with every day, which is the most important part of your legacy? An Intimacy Plan during Stressful Times secures your investment and ROI in emotional intelligence.
Whether you’re in the middle of a move, working late nights, hosting family, or navigating one of life’s many curveballs, marriage stress relief often takes a backseat. But there’s one overlooked tool that can make all the difference:
An intimacy plan.
Every couple—yes, even the strong ones—is invited to have a clear, pre-agreed strategy for maintaining emotional connection and intimacy during an unusual, temporary stressful time. This would be a time you know has an end date, like a move, travel, relatives visiting, the holidays, a bankruptcy, or a company merger. For a stressful event, longer therapy or coaching is recommended to temper the storm and strengthen the ties.
An intimacy plan isn’t about grand gestures or unrealistic expectations. It’s about staying connected, seen, and safe—especially when life feels anything but. Think of it as your relational life jacket: not fancy, but absolutely essential in stormy seasons.Here’s how to create a 4-part intimacy plan that supports relationship communication and helps keep love alive under pressure:
Start with a tiny but intentional daily act of connection. It might sound small, but this one-minute ritual is the anchor that keeps you tethered. Choose something you'll actually do that's super small and can be done in under one minute:
This micro-ritual becomes a stress-proof signal of love—a way to say, “I’m with you, no matter what.”
This is one of the most important aspects of relationship communication—especially during high-stress periods.Talk about your default stress behaviors before you’re in the middle of them. Try saying:
“When I’m under a lot of pressure, I tend to shut everything else out and go into focus mode. I want you to know that ahead of time—and I promise it’s temporary.”
Also name that during periods of external demand, both partners might be in their masculine energy—focused, productive, and task-driven. There might not be a lot of softness, romance, or spontaneity for a short time—and that’s okay.The goal is to adjust expectations, communicate clearly, and remind one another: we are still us, even when we’re stretched thin.
When stress ramps up, so do misunderstandings about affection and sex. That’s why this part of your couple's intimacy plan is so important. Talk openly and decide:
Pre-negotiating these expectations removes the mental load and increases safety. It becomes easier to stay intimate when both of you know the rules of engagement.
Set a clear endpoint when the pressure will lift—and plan an intentional re-connection. Ex - The relatives leave in 2 weeks, so one week after they leave on this date is our date weekend. PUT IT ON THE CALENDAR so partners can see the end game relief. Here’s a healthy timeline of how to plan.
Make sure you schedule alone decompression time directly after the event, THEN move into together space.
Adjust your expectations for this endgame weekend date for deep emotional connection, restoration, and truth—not performance. This is not about having mind-blowing sex right away. In fact, you might need time to cry, nap, or process before passion kicks in again or at all this trip. And that’s okay.
💡 Pro tip: Book a retreat intensive with Raven for that weekend. Having professional support and structured reconnection practices on the calendar gives you both something to look forward to while navigating the chaos.
Here’s the truth: your first reconnection date after a hard season might not be romantic. You might argue, cry, or feel numb.That doesn’t mean anything is wrong. It means you’re coming back to your body and heart.Don’t romanticize one weekend as the ultimate fix. You have a lifetime of sexy, fun, tender connection ahead. Release the pressure, and show up authentically—messy and all.
The couples who make it through tough times stronger are not the ones who avoid stress or disconnection. They’re the ones who plan for it—and protect their emotional connection while it’s happening.Having a couples intimacy plan is like having a map for your relationship.
It reminds you: this is just a chapter, not the whole book.
And when the dust settles, love is waiting.🌹